The last thing I needed was to get an email from Ben. It said simply this: Log into the instant chat messenger. Not even signed. I knew it was from him of course, not least because his name appeared in the sender column, but it was also recognizable by his breathtaking arrogance. Another male line trait in their f****y. For the first of what I guessed would probably be many, many times, I closed down all critical thinking faculties and simply logged in as bidden. He’d added me to his list of chat buddies, and the message came up more or less immediately and was accompanied by the little tinkling bell sound. >, How are you? I scrabbled around the monitor, looking for any control that might in any language be marked ‘volume’. Several hieroglyphs of possibly Martian origin seemed to indicate half an orange, the big bang, and the water slide at the leisure centre. The message sat expectantly on my screen, seemingly mocking my technical ineptitude. I may have a Masters’, but I can’t. You are just an impostor. You pretend to be a man, a Division Head, but in reality, you are nothing but my dick and your place is here, right under my pubis.”“But even for the sake of an argument, how can you prove it?” inquired Mr. Cox. “What evidence do you have that your dick is missing? Why should I believe you? What if you never had one?”“I had a dick!” proudly exclaimed Mr. Richards, “I have witnesses, my wife for example.” In the heat of the moment, Mr. Richards was about to mention Melinda K. but finally did not, as that would be ungentlemanly.“Your wife, you have a wife?” Somehow that piece of information made a big impression on Mr. Cox.“Of course I have a wife,” assured him Mr. Richards. He even took out his mobile phone, found a picture of Lucy and showed it to Mr. Cox.Mr. Cox looked at Lucy’s picture and somehow increased in size.“Mr. Richards,” he said, “as a Division Head, I take family matters of my employees very seriously. No wife should be left behind.”Having said.
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